


The Birds and the Bees

by _Melodic_ (Sae)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Awkward Sexual Situations, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Hand Jobs, Humor, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Sex Education, Sexual Humor, The Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-13 19:09:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7982944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sae/pseuds/_Melodic_
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Draco walk in on their sons at an inopportune moment and decide it’s time to have the dreaded “talk”.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Birds and the Bees

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
>  **Warning(s):** Hand Jobs. Awkward Situations. Humour.
> 
>  **Epilogue compliant?** Yes (Implied divorce between Draco and Harry and their respective wives.)
> 
>  **Author's Notes:** This was a ton of fun to write, thank you _digthewriter_ for the encouragement and for the beta! Hope you like it, _icarly1969_
> 
> Written for [PROMPT 55](http://hd-familyfest.livejournal.com/14832.html?thread=214256#t214256) for [hd_familyfest](http://hd-familyfest.livejournal.com/14832.html)

“Do you like the way that feels, Al?” Scorpius murmurs hotly in Albus’s ear, fingers tracing the outline of his eager erection.

“Yes,” Albus huffs out, his cheeks stained pink. He bites his lips sharply, trying to suppress a desperate moan.

“Why are you holding back?” Scorpius asks deviously, his hand slips from the outside of Albus’s tented pants to the warmth inside. “I want to hear you cry my name.”

“Scorpius!” Albus looks adorably scandalised. “I don’t want anyone to overhear us, especially our dads.”

“Your dad is still out with mine, celebrating their engagement. We can be as loud as we want.”

“But,” Albus moans, arching into Scorpius’s touch, “what if they come home early?”

“They won’t.” Scorpius’s hand curls around Albus’s waiting cock. “Don’t worry so much.”

Albus’s face is flushed, his eyes fluttering closed as Scorpius begins a firm and steady stroke on his hard prick. The flesh is hot and heavy in Scorpius’s cool hand, becoming stiffer with every tug. Gorgeous little noises escape the tense line of Albus’s mouth, but his brow remains furrowed and his expression worried.

“It’s just, don’t you think this is wrong?” Albus half-heartedly pushes Scorpius’s hand away. “Now that our dads are getting married, you and I are basically step-brothers.”

“Come on, Al,” Scorpius retorts, wrinkling his nose in disgust. “It’s not like that at all. We were friends way before our dads started dating.”

“Yeah?” Albus looks up at Scorpius shyly, bright green eyes vivid beneath dark lashes. “And what are we now?”

“Aw, look at you.” Scorpius grins wolfishly, kissing along Albus’s jaw as he slides his hand back into Albus’s pants. “Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?”

“Oh shut it, Scorp.” Albus scowls but he leans into Scorpius’s body all the same, resting his head on his shoulder.

“Do you like that?” Scorpius’s hand quickens its pace, tugging purposely over Albus’s hard prick.

“You know I do,” Albus stutters out, eyes fluttering closed.

“Tell me,” Scorpius teases. “Tell me how much you like it.”

“Please,” Albus whimpers. “I like it, okay? I love it. Just don’t stop, I’m so close.”

“Boys! You left the Floo open, I told you—”

_Oh Merlin._

“Dad!” Albus screeches, pushing Scorpius away and tucking himself back into his pants.

“What is going on here?” Draco demands, pushing past Harry and entering the room.

“I thought you two were out having dinner.” Scorpius grabs a blanket and throws it over their laps.

“Harry forgot his nice robes and the restaurant has a very strict dress code.” Draco narrows his eyes as he looks at his son and future step-son. “Not that we have to explain anything. Why don’t you tell me what you boys were doing?”

“Uh, we were… that is—” 

“You know, I think it’s time,” Harry sighs as he takes a seat on the corner of the bed. 

“Time for what?” Draco asks suspiciously, arms crossed over his chest.

“Time for _the talk_.”

“Oh Merlin, no,” Scorpius groans, burying his face into his hands.

“What talk?” Albus asks, brows furrowing in confusion.

“Must we?” Draco inquires, his body stiff with tension as he stands by the door.

“I believe so,” Harry replies solemnly, turning his attention back to the boys.

“Can’t we just do this another day?” Draco pleads, looking just as uncomfortable as his son.

“Draco,” Harry explains gently. “Our sons are going to turn eighteen this year. It’s far past the time we spoke to them about…” Harry trails off, losing nerve himself.

“Dad,” Albus cuts in. “Exactly! We’re almost eighteen, we obviously know about…” Albus flushes red and looks away.

“We need to talk about the birds and the bees!” Harry gathers his courage and announces proudly.

“Dad,” Albus whines. “We _really_ don’t need to do this.”

“Wait.” Scorpius’s face scrunches in confusion. “What do owls and insects have to do with it?” 

“Birds and bees,” Harry corrects, his expression morphing into the one he wears during Ministry speeches.

“That’s it.” Draco mutters, moving to stand next to Harry. “If we are going to do this, let’s do it properly. Listen, now it’s natural to have…well, to have…”

“Urges,” Harry helpfully supplies, only to be met with an angry glare from Draco.

“However, safety is the most important thing.” Draco’s face is stern and serious.

“Indeed it is,” Harry agrees.

“Because if you have sex too young, you will die.”

“Yes—wait, what? No you won’t die.” Harry turns to Draco with wide eyes.

“Shh, Harry. This is how my father taught me.” Draco turns back to the boys. “And the death will not be a pleasant one—”

“Draco,” Harry chuckles softly. “We had sex plenty of times during eighth year and we are definitely still alive.”

“Wait, what?” Albus narrows his eyes. “I thought you two started dating a couple of years ago.”

“Yeah.” Scorpius frowns thoughtfully. “You never told us you hooked up back in school.” Realisation dawns over Scorpius’s face. “Not that we want to hear any details, mind you.”

“Well, it only lasted a few months and then Draco and I called it off. Later that year, Ginny and I got back together and—”

“We had to break it off,” Draco chimes in enthusiastically. “You see, otherwise the curse of having sex too young would have devoured us whole!”

“Draco! That's not why we broke up.” Harry shakes his head exasperatedly. “Okay, I’m taking over. Boys, protection is very important. Do you know the basic spells to perform when you find yourselves in a...lustful situation?”

“Oh my god, Dad.” Albus’s face is bright red and he looks ready to combust.

“Yes,” Scorpius interjects, all colour having fled his pale face. “We, well, _I_ know about all the spells.”

“Where did you learn them from?” Draco cuts in suspiciously.

“Dad,” Scorpius explains, “There is a whole shelf in the Manor library about sex spells and potions and positions and—”

“That’s enough,” Draco cuts off sharply, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks. “You go to your room and we will talk about this later.”

“But, _this_ is the room I sleep in when we stay the night.”

“You and Albus will no longer be sharing a room, in fact—”

“You know what,” Harry rises off the bed and throws an arm around Draco. “Why don’t you kids go get some ice cream in town while Draco and I discuss this?”

“But, but—” Draco sputters as Scorpius and Albus quickly and gratefully throw on their jeans and grab their t-shirts.

“This is not the end of this conversation!” Draco calls out after them as they scurry out the bedroom and down the stairs. Draco exhales heavily and turns back to Harry. “And exactly what is it we must discuss now?”

“Well, we need to talk about our sons getting frisky while we are away. And, also, how we are going to deal with them dating when they’re supposed to be stepbrothers now.”

“We certainly will be an unconventional family,” Draco sighs. 

“Was there ever going to any other option when it comes to us?” Harry smiles playfully. “But first and foremost there is a much more pressing matter at hand.”

“Oh?” Draco raises an inquiring eyebrow. 

“Well,” Harry begins, eyes darkening with desire. “I think it’s imperative we head to the Manor right away.”

“What? Why?”

“I was thinking,” Harry whispers hotly in Draco’s ear, “we could find some of those books about various positions.”

“You are an absolute fiend,” Draco mutters affectionately, wrapping his arms around Harry and apparating away.

**Author's Note:**

> Comment here for on [Livejournal](http://hd-familyfest.livejournal.com/19461.html) for the author to see. Authors & Artists will remain anonymous until reveals - posted after October 1, 2016


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